Submission

I submit to my husband out of reverence for Christ. It is Christ who has placed my husband as an authority over me (see Ephesians 5) and it is Christ who has commanded me to submit to him as the head of our household.

I must confess that I do not always have the desire to submit. I generally like my way best and I have not completely conquered the sin of anger when I don’t get my way. However, as a daughter of the kingdom of God, I have access to the wisdom of scripture, the seal of the Holy Spirit and the grace that grants me repentance of this sin that James explains so clearly. “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” (James 4:1)

Now some may offer me foolish counsel that would destroy my home depending on my circumstances concerning what specific decision or desire my husband would like to see carried out. Honestly, sometimes I really do have better ideas, and truly, my husband has not always made the right decision (by his own admission in retrospect). The fact of the matter is that a wife’s submission has nothing to do with her husband. It has everything to do with Christ and the power of the gospel working out salvation in her life.

For those of us who have a husband who is also a believer in Christ, we are particularly blessed that God disciplines those he loves and therefore the Holy Spirit will be at work in our husband’s heart as well as our own to root out sin. For women who are unequally yoked to an unbelieving husband there is comfort and refuge in the rock of our salvation. For Christian wives, Christ has paid the price for our arrogance, our selfishness and our tempers so that we might be free to live according to his design as submissive wives. Yes, I said we can be free to live as submissive wives. Free to glorify God in a ministry specific for wives whether as co-laborers for the gospel or as a testimony of the gospel to an unbelieving man. “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct” (1 Peter 3:1,2). The role of wife is specific and unique. We are not just buddies to our husbands, we are not hired maids, we are not girlfriends, we are not their mothers or their bosses. We are designed specifically for their good to complete them for the glory of God.

This role is not to be balked at by the Christian woman. Rather it is to be embraced out of love for our savior who is no stranger to submission. We ought to be very careful about our attitudes when we have a better idea or our husband just has a bad one. We ought to be careful about our actions if our husband’s desires or decisions may compromise our security. (No, I am not advocating or condoning abuse, please seek biblical refuge if such is the case.) But let us as women be quick to repent of our sin when we disdain submission. Let us not go on sinning against our savior who in the garden of Gethsemane pleaded with the Father to let the cup of the cross pass but submissively endured the weight of our sin on the cross for the joy set before him. Let us have before us the joy of our savior when we want our own way. Let us bear the fruit of salvation as we repent of our haughty attitudes, anger and disdain when our husband’s desires contradict our own. Not because the men we marry are always right, but because our Savior sustains us.