Repentance

This afternoon, my daughter and I had a long talk about repentance. She seemed a little surprised when I told her that the older she gets the more she'll be repenting. We've been teaching our children for years now that there will soon come a day when we won't be disciplining them as little children, teaching them to obey commands such as "Don't touch!" and "Do Your Chores!" They will (should) have grown in wisdom and understanding and master these simple acts of obedience. However, they childishly assume that they will learn how to obey and therefore not need to repent. Oh no, this is NOT the case. The godliest people, the most self controlled people are spending more time repenting because they have practiced repenting quicker. The idea of repenting more often can be discouraging but when we realize that this is the mark of our salvation it restores the soul. I have spent a great deal of time despising my sin (as it should be despised) desiring to have one final repentant moment and so be done with it. I would wrestle in my head: Why, if I am a child of God does he not give me enough grace to repent completely? Am I saved if I still sin? Did I repent at all? I want to repent, but then I sin again!

Thankfully God has blessed me not only with his word and Holy Spirit but also with a shepherding husband and a church body led by pastors who biblically guide and protect their flock. Through such blessings God has revealed plainly that this process of sanctification is a lifelong process and although I'm saved already from my slavery to sin, I'm not yet at the finish line of redemption.

For a while, I simply despised my sin because I was sick and tired of repenting. I understand better now that my sin is a mark of slavery, but my desire to repent is a gift of grace and a mark of my adoption into the kingdom of God. The practical application is repenting more often. My sin is ever before me and against God alone do I sin. If I look patient, it is because I already repented of my impatience before the human beings caught me sinning. God doesn't miss it. If I am content with my life it's only because I repented before the sour look came on my face. If I am gentle and loving, it is only because I repented before I was hatefulness and condescension showed.

Unfortunately, I still don't repent as often as I should and my children have plenty of opportunity to see what bold sin looks like in their mama. They understand very well that they must remove a plank in their own eye to help another with a speck. You can ask them any day if they receive proper help during a time of frustration when they are being spoken to in a sharp and condescending manner. "Not at all" is the answer. They get more frustrated and often commit murder in their own hearts. Before I can instruct "Be kind" I must repent of the meanness rising in my own spirit.

Our hearts and homes are continually filled with sin. Let us pray without ceasing for the grace and repentance that marks us as saints.