Repentance

This afternoon, my daughter and I had a long talk about repentance. She seemed a little surprised when I told her that the older she gets the more she'll be repenting. We've been teaching our children for years now that there will soon come a day when we won't be disciplining them as little children, teaching them to obey commands such as "Don't touch!" and "Do Your Chores!" They will (should) have grown in wisdom and understanding and master these simple acts of obedience. However, they childishly assume that they will learn how to obey and therefore not need to repent. Oh no, this is NOT the case. The godliest people, the most self controlled people are spending more time repenting because they have practiced repenting quicker. The idea of repenting more often can be discouraging but when we realize that this is the mark of our salvation it restores the soul. I have spent a great deal of time despising my sin (as it should be despised) desiring to have one final repentant moment and so be done with it. I would wrestle in my head: Why, if I am a child of God does he not give me enough grace to repent completely? Am I saved if I still sin? Did I repent at all? I want to repent, but then I sin again!

Thankfully God has blessed me not only with his word and Holy Spirit but also with a shepherding husband and a church body led by pastors who biblically guide and protect their flock. Through such blessings God has revealed plainly that this process of sanctification is a lifelong process and although I'm saved already from my slavery to sin, I'm not yet at the finish line of redemption.

For a while, I simply despised my sin because I was sick and tired of repenting. I understand better now that my sin is a mark of slavery, but my desire to repent is a gift of grace and a mark of my adoption into the kingdom of God. The practical application is repenting more often. My sin is ever before me and against God alone do I sin. If I look patient, it is because I already repented of my impatience before the human beings caught me sinning. God doesn't miss it. If I am content with my life it's only because I repented before the sour look came on my face. If I am gentle and loving, it is only because I repented before I was hatefulness and condescension showed.

Unfortunately, I still don't repent as often as I should and my children have plenty of opportunity to see what bold sin looks like in their mama. They understand very well that they must remove a plank in their own eye to help another with a speck. You can ask them any day if they receive proper help during a time of frustration when they are being spoken to in a sharp and condescending manner. "Not at all" is the answer. They get more frustrated and often commit murder in their own hearts. Before I can instruct "Be kind" I must repent of the meanness rising in my own spirit.

Our hearts and homes are continually filled with sin. Let us pray without ceasing for the grace and repentance that marks us as saints.

This is the Gospel: A Conversation about the Gospel of Grace

My nine year old daughter was learning about the teachings of Buddha and Confucius in her history lesson today. It was easy to see the similarities between them and the Old Testament Proverbs; some of the wise sayings were identical after translation. Puzzled by the fact that these ancient heathens would have such good morals she questioned, "Isn't this just like the gospel?" And so I replied:

Oh no my daughter, this is not just like the gospel. It is however just like the law. You see it is easy for people to see that it is wrong to steal and it is good to be polite and every culture longs for children who obey their parents. But these are rules for us to follow. Whether it was the children of Israel or the people of Asia, following these good rules, perfect rules in fact that are right in any time or culture, no one is saved by these rules. Even Abraham was not saved based on his success in following all of God's instruction. Rather, Abraham had faith and it was credited to him as righteousness. You have learned the catechism question asking, 'what did Christ undertake in the covenant of grace?' The answer is that 'he kept the whole law for his people and paid the penalty due their sin'. Jesus taught that "You have heard it said ,'Do not murder', but I say that if anyone hates his brother he has committed murder in his heart."

This is the gospel: understanding that sin is not simply in our actions that people can see, but it is rooted in our hearts and minds; therefore God's Holy law cannot be kept. Jesus kept it not only in his actions, but even in his heart and mind. Then he paid the full penalty due our sin. This is the gospel. This is grace.

Repent and Believe!

A Place For Frailty

I've been inspired to start blogging. Writing has always been one of my favorite pastimes, but I don't bother very often anymore since my eyes have grown dim. I'm sure the environmentalists would be appalled at the amount of paper I use to write a paragraph that would only take up half a page typed out. Not too long ago, I had my husband open up a file and let me type a little just to make sure that I still remembered how to type. I was relieved to note that I was still a slow but capable typist despite my inability to view what my fingers were producing. For anyone who is wondering why this would be a problem with all the technology for the vision impaired let me reassure you that I am well aware of my resources, but relearning how to use the computer is a little overwhelming and the voice overs can get annoying... also trying to figure out how to teach my children to read and write the things I could not see and learning how to tell whether the meat I was cooking for dinner was fully cooked took top priority.

So here I am, this is my first time writing anything that someone other than my family had to look at in almost two years. I am a visually impaired (that's legally blind but not completely blind) homeschool mother of five children. I used to be afraid to publicly share all that information. But now that I've gotten the hang of things, my husband also works at home so I've got some back up if any well meaning busy body becomes concerned that my children have no competent adult supervision. On that note, I've been longing to fully express my gratitude towards everyone who has provided me a safe place to be frail.

First of all I must say that my home is my haven. My husband is my best friend, my lover, my protector, my provider, my discipler. When answering a questionnaire about the results I would like to see after a cataract surgery, I laughed as the doctor's administrative assistant asked "Would you like to remain independent". After my chuckle I replied "Oh, I'm not independent at all." For some women this is worthy of shock and horror, but this was often my greatest comfort.

Secondly my church family. The church I attend is a reformed credo-baptist family integrated church. If you want to understand better what all that means, visit the church site at www.gracefamilybaptist.net. Here, I will simply explain how it is a safe place for all those who are weak and heavy laden. The answer is simply because they shepherd the flock towards Jesus. Repentance and grace resound in my ears. Never am I anything but a woman who needs these things, repentance and grace. I am not an oppressed woman, or a burden on my home and family. I am a woman who needs to be obedient to the Lord in my calling as a wife and mother. Always I have a cloud of witnesses around me to encourage me and spur me on towards love and good deeds. This is a church. This is not a social networking group. It is a church and I will say to every believer, you need a true church that declares the word of God and shepherds the flock. Because whether or not you have come to realize it, you are frail also. There are wolves among us who might try to lure us from the cross. Satan tempts us all with despair and the world will tell you that obedience to the God of the Bible is too heavy a burden. Your body may be strong and your eyes may be keen, but I promise you, dear saints, you are weak.

Do you have what I have? Does the sound of repentance and grace resound in your ears? Our Lord is an invisible God but he does not leave us to imagine his invisible arms He has established our homes and our churches so we my understand that when we are broken he is the Great Shepherd.